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Buddhist view of marriage

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Buddhism considers marriage a secular affair[1] and as such, it is not considered a sacrament.[2] Buddhists are expected to follow the civil laws regarding marriage laid out by their respective governments.[2]

While the ceremony itself is civil, many Buddhists obtain the blessing from monks at the local temple after the marriage is completed.[1]

History

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Gautama Buddha never spoke against marriage[3] but instead pointed out some of the difficulties of marriage.[3] He is quoted in the Parabhava Sutta as saying:[4]

Not to be contented with one's own wife, and to be seen with harlots and the wives of others—this is a cause of one's downfall. Being past one's youth, to take a young wife and to be unable to sleep for jealousy of her—this is a cause of one's downfall.

Views

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While Buddhism may neither encourage nor discourage getting married, it does provide principles regarding it.[5][6] The Digha Nikaya 31 (Sigalovada Sutta) describes the respect that one is expected to give to one's spouse.[7] Buddhist views on marriage fall in line with other aspects of Buddhist ethics.[8]

In Tibetan Buddhism

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The Dalai Lama has spoken of the merits of marriage:[9]

Too many people in the West have given up on marriage. They don't understand that it is about developing a mutual admiration of someone, deep respect and trust, and awareness of another human's needs ... The new easy-come, easy-go relationships give us more freedom—but less contentment.

Divorce

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Same-Sex Marriage

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The Pali Canon (the standard collection of scriptures in the Theravada Buddhist tradition, as preserved in the Pāli language, and the most complete extant early Buddhist canon) bars both female and male monastics from both homosexual and heterosexual activities.

Among Buddhists there is a wide diversity of opinion about homosexuality and gay marriage.[10] According to the Pāli Canon and Āgama (the Early Buddhist scriptures), there is not any saying that same-sex or opposite sex relations have anything to do with sexual misconduct.[11][12] Scholars argue that early Buddhism did not see sexual orientation as a moral issue and that tolerance aligns with core values of Buddhism as a whole.[13][12] As such, Buddhist attitudes towards homosexuality are often a reflection of local culture rather than Buddhist teachings.[14] The history of homosexuality in Buddhist societies includes cultures of acceptable and non-acceptance in different locations and times.[15][16][12]

Opposition

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The Dalai Lama once stated:[17]

From a Buddhist point of view, physical touching between men-to-men and women-to-women is generally considered sexual misconduct.

However, the Dalai Lama later clarified his position stating gay marriage is "OK", provided it's not in contradiction with the values of one's chosen religion.[18][19] Some contemporary Buddhists oppose or opposed same-sex marriage including Chan master Hsuan Hua.[20]

Support

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Some of the first gay marriages of the modern period were performed by Buddhists.[21] The first known modern Buddhist same-sex marriage took place in the early 1970s through the Buddhist Church of San Francisco part of the Shin Tradition.[21] Prominent contemporary supporters of the rights of the rights of gay and lesbians include Nalandabodhi sangha who has stated that they are welcoming of all sexual orientations and well-known Bhutanese lama Khyentse Norbu has expressed support for LGBT rights in Bhutan.[22] Hsing Yun, founder of the Fo Guang Shan Buddhist order, has called for tolerance towards the LGBT community.[23][24] The Plum Village Tradition founded by founded by Thích Nhất Hạnh and Chân Không formally accepts LGBT individuals starting an initiative called "The Rainbow Family".[25][26][27][28]

Heavily Buddhist Taiwan legalized same-sex marriage in 2019 with the prominent support of Buddhist Nun Chao-hwei Shih.[29][30] Nepal, a country with relatively significant Buddhist influences, legalized Same-sex marriage on 24th April, 2024.[31] Heavily Buddhist Thailand legalized same-sex marriage in 2024.[32] Same-sex marriages are also performed in places where it is not yet recognized, for example, same-sex marriages are performed at Shunkō-in, a Rinzai Zen Buddhist temple in Kyoto and Shozenji Temple in Moriguchi City, Osaka.[33][34][35][36][37] The Buddhist Church of San Francisco first performed a gay marriage ceremony in the 1970s while American Soka Gakkai Buddhists have performed same-sex union ceremonies since the 1990s.[38][39][40][41] There has also been support for sam-sex marriage from the European Buddhist Union[42] the Buddhist Churches of America,[43][44][45] many Shin Buddhist groups,[46] and The Federation of Australian Buddhist Councils (FABC) in Australia.[47]

Divorce

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Since marriage is secular,[1] Buddhism has no restrictions on divorce.[48] Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda has said "if a husband and wife really cannot live together, instead of leading a miserable life and harboring more jealousy, anger and hatred, they should have the liberty to separate and live peacefully."[49]

See also

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References

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  1. ^ a b c "Personal Ceremonies: Marriage / Funeral Rites". Buddhanet.net. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  2. ^ a b "A Basic Buddhism Guide: Buddhist Ethics". Buddhanet.net. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  3. ^ a b "A Happy Married Life: A Buddhist Perspective". Accesstoinsight.org. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  4. ^ "Parabhava Sutta". Buddhasutra.com. Archived from the original on 2022-11-05. Retrieved 2012-06-06.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: unfit URL (link)
  5. ^ "Buddhist view on marriage". Purifymind.com. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  6. ^ "Buddhist practices". Londonbuddhistvihara.org. Archived from the original on 2019-10-27. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  7. ^ "Sigalovada Sutta". Accesstoinsight.org. 2012-03-24. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  8. ^ Collett, Alice (2021-10-25), Harris, Elizabeth J. (ed.), "Does Buddhism have rules for marriage and family life?", Buddhism in 5 minutes, Religion in five minutes, Bristol: Equinox Publishing Ltd, pp. 293–296, ISBN 978-1-80050-089-1, retrieved 2024-12-27
  9. ^ "HH Dalai Lama". Khandro.net. Retrieved 2012-06-06.
  10. ^ Stevens, John (1990). Lust for enlightenment : Buddhism and sex. Shambhala Publ. ISBN 087773416X. OCLC 716757478.
  11. ^ "Cunda Kammaraputta Sutta" [To Cunda the Silversmith]. Translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. Access to Insight. 1997. AN 10.176. Retrieved 2011-03-14. Abandoning sensual misconduct, he abstains from sensual misconduct. He does not get sexually involved with those who are protected by their mothers, their fathers, their brothers, their sisters, their relatives, or their Dhamma; those with husbands, those who entail punishments, or even those crowned with flowers by another man{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: others (link)
  12. ^ a b c Font, Bernat (2016-01-01). "Buddhism and Homosexuality: an overview". {{cite journal}}: Cite journal requires |journal= (help)
  13. ^ Vermeulen, Michael (September 2017). "The rise of Rainbow Dharma: Buddhism on sexual diversity and same-sex marriage". United Nations OHCHR - UN Special Rapporteur on Freedom of Religion or Belief - Special Rapporteur’s Compilation of Articles on Freedom of Religion or Belief and Sexuality.
  14. ^ "LGBTQ Buddhists: Teachings, Profiles, and Conversations". Lion’s Roar. Retrieved 2024-12-25.
  15. ^ Michaelson, Dr Jay (2018-07-02). "We're Queer And We've Been Here - Tricycle: The Buddhist Review". Tricycle: The Buddhist Review - The independent voice of Buddhism in the West. Retrieved 2024-12-25.
  16. ^ Ito, Alina Joan (2024-04-15). "5 Facts About Japan's Gay History". Tokyo Weekender (in Japanese). Retrieved 2024-12-25.
  17. ^ Lattin, Don; Writer, Chronicle Religion (1997-06-11). "Dalai Lama Speaks on Gay Sex / He says it's wrong for Buddhists but not for society". SFGate. Retrieved 2019-12-27.
  18. ^ "Dalai Lama says gay marriage is 'OK' and anti-LGBT bullying is 'wrong'". PinkNews. 6 March 2014. Retrieved 27 March 2021.
  19. ^ The Dalai Lama Weighs in on Same Sex Marriage | Dalai Lama Interview | Larry King Now – Ora TV, 27 February 2014, retrieved 27 March 2021
  20. ^ Prebish, Charles: The Faces of Buddhism in America, page 255. University of California Press, 1998.
  21. ^ a b Wilson, Jeff (2015-06-27). "A Big Gay History of Same-sex Marriage in the Sangha - Tricycle: The Buddhist Review". Tricycle: The Buddhist Review - The independent voice of Buddhism in the West. Retrieved 2024-12-27.
  22. ^ "The Buddhist View on LGBTQ and Smoking". The Bhutanese. Retrieved 13 April 2021.
  23. ^ "Tibetan Buddhist views on LGBTQ: is Buddhism accepting, neutral, supportive, or alienating to lesbians, gay men and trans-gendered persons? What about same-sex marriage? – Buddha Weekly: Buddhist Practices, Mindfulness, Meditation". 7 March 2018. Retrieved 22 December 2021.
  24. ^ Sujato, Bhante (12 March 2012). "Why Buddhists Should Support Marriage Equality".
  25. ^ Michaelson, Dr Jay (2018-07-02). "We're Queer And We've Been Here - Tricycle: The Buddhist Review". Tricycle: The Buddhist Review - The independent voice of Buddhism in the West. Retrieved 2024-12-22.
  26. ^ "Expanding the Spectrum of Love". Plum Village. 2023-06-27. Retrieved 2024-12-22.
  27. ^ "Thich Nhat Hanh on… / Homosexuality and discrimination". Plum Village. 2023-07-28. Retrieved 2024-12-22.
  28. ^ "Engaged Buddhism / The Rainbow Family: Engaging with Suffering in the Present Moment". Plum Village. 2022-06-20. Retrieved 2024-12-22.
  29. ^ Lewis, Craig (26 February 2021). "Taiwanese Buddhist Master Ven. Shih Chao-hwei Selected for 38th Niwano Peace Prize". Buddhistdoor Global.
  30. ^ "Buddhist Nun Leads Asia's Fight for Gay Marriage | Harvard Divinity Bulletin". bulletin.hds.harvard.edu. Retrieved 2024-12-23.
  31. ^ [1]"Nepal: Apex court issues interim order to "temporarily register" same-sex marriages". ANI. Kathmandu. 29 June 2023. Archived from the original on 28 June 2023. Retrieved 8 July 2023.
  32. ^ "Thai king signs same-sex marriage bill into law". www.bbc.com. Retrieved 2024-12-23.
  33. ^ Kure, Rena (22 October 2015). "Buddhist Priest Invites Same-Sex Couples To Marry at His Temple". HuffPost. Retrieved 5 April 2017.
  34. ^ Bailey, Cathryn (December 2008). "Embracing the Icon: The Feminist Potential of the Trans Bodhisattva, Kuan Yin". Hypatia. 24 (3): 178–196. doi:10.1111/j.1527-2001.2009.01051.x. S2CID 144982548.
  35. ^ MATCHA (22 July 2020). "Shozenji, An LGBTQ Safe Temple Run by a Transgender Nun". MATCHA – JAPAN TRAVEL WEB MAGAZINE. Retrieved 12 December 2021.
  36. ^ Yarber, Angela (9 May 2015). "Guanyin Revisited: Queer, Pacifist, Vegan Icon by Angela Yarber". Retrieved 12 December 2021.
  37. ^ Vo, Dan (7 January 2021). "THE COMPASSIONATE WAY: Towards Trans and Non-Binary Inclusive Narratives in Museums". SQS – Suomen Queer-tutkimuksen Seuran Lehti. 14 (1–2): 95–101. doi:10.23980/sqs.101457. S2CID 234116545.
  38. ^ Dart, John (1 July 1995). "U.S. Buddhist Group Approves Marriage-Like Rights for Gays". Los Angeles Times. Retrieved 5 April 2017.
  39. ^ "The Buddhist pioneers of same-sex marriage in the West: a little-known history of compassion in action by Dr Michael Vermeulen". ebumagazine.org. Retrieved 18 April 2023.
  40. ^ Wilson, Jeff (27 June 2015). "A Big Gay History of Buddhist Same-sex Marriage". Tricycle: The Buddhist Review. Retrieved 22 December 2021.
  41. ^ Kuwahara, Kiyonobu Joshin (2 June 2017). "Is My Sangha Inclusive?". Lion's Roar. Retrieved 18 April 2023.
  42. ^ "European Rainbow Sangha – European Buddhist Union". europeanbuddhistunion.org. Retrieved 2024-12-23.
  43. ^ "Seattle Betsuin Brings New Light to LGBTQ Issues: Northwest Dharma Association". northwestdharma.org. Retrieved 27 March 2021.
  44. ^ Wilson, Jeff (2012). ""All Beings Are Equally Embraced By Amida Buddha": Jodo Shinshu Buddhism and Same-Sex Marriage in the United States". Journal of Global Buddhism. 13: 31–59. Archived from the original on 13 April 2018. Retrieved 27 March 2021.
  45. ^ Wilson, Jeff (20 June 2018). "Buddha's Big Shrug: The Non-Conflictual History of Same-Sex Marriage in the Buddhist Churches of America". berkleycenter.georgetown.edu. Retrieved 18 April 2023.
  46. ^ Hamamoto, Ben (10 July 2014). "Seminar traces roots of Buddhists' support for LGBTQ rights » Nichi Bei". nichibei.org. Retrieved 18 April 2023.
  47. ^ Potts, Andrew M (19 April 2012). "Buddhists come out for equality". Star Observer. Retrieved 27 March 2021.
  48. ^ "Divorce". Guide to Buddhism A to Z.
  49. ^ "A Happy Married Life A Buddhist Perspective". Access to Insight.
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